About time we started one?

One for the vaccine refusenik conspiracy theorists. It’s true. I removed the antennae from my wheels and some sod came round and let my tyres down.

I must be normal, all I can see is an 8.

My favourite joke I loved to tell when I was a child……… A snake was warming himself in a nice sunny spot in the woods when another snake came quickly slithering up to him and with a very worrying anxious look on his face said… “Sid! Sid! Quick! What am I, a grass snake or an adder?” “A grass snake, why?” replied Sid sleepily. “Thank Gawd for that. I’ve just bit me lip!”

I have a friend Pat from Ireland went into the local market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, “I’m not hiring that lazy swine”, so he decided to set a test for our emerald hero hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions and he’d be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.” Pat says, “Dat’s easy” and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, “What in the world is that?” Pat says, “Tree ’n tree ’n tree makes nine.” “Fair enough” says the boss. “Second question, same rules, but represent 99”. Pat stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Der ya go boy,” he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?” Pat answers, “Oh b’Jaisus it’s so easy look each tree is dirty now, so it’s dirty tree ’n dirty tree ’n dirty tree - dat’s 99.” The boss is getting worried he’s going to have to hire Pat so he says, “All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100.” Pat stares into space again, then he shouts, “Sweet mother of Mary i’ve got it!” He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Der ya go sir -100.” The boss looks at Pat’s attempt and thinks, “Ha! got him this time.” He then tells him, “Go on, the paddy, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100.” Pat leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, “A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, and dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?”

-Mac Ah…that word filter….but people will figure out that it’s turd

Funnies Thread

Flat_Eric

Lake_M

I know this has been around a while but it makes me belly laugh each time I see it….

Brexit by Monty Python

Flat_Eric

-Mac

DavecUK

Flat_Eric

4W5

Flat_Eric hahaha love this!!

DavecUK

-Mac

🤣

-Mac

[IMG]

DavecUK

And this was done in 2015 <lol>

tompoland

DavecUK gotta love those Aussie shielas

DavecUK

tompoland She is very good done other stuff as well that’s great.

MediumRoastSteam

Dear Behmor, please note the printed version of the manual is in black and white.

Doram

MediumRoastSteam Dear Behmor, please note the printed version of the manual is in black and white.

I clearly see two red arrows!

DavecUK

Doram “I see 4 lights!”

Baldrick

A sign that I really enjoyed whilst visiting a site recently. Sound advice.

Pompeyexile

Reminds me of Pot Black back in the day, when the commentator said….

“and for those of you watching in black and white…The blue is the one behind the green ball”

DavecUK

This just wouldn’t have been the same in B&W would it…

Giphy - Power Rangers Nickelodeon GIF by HULU

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