About time we started one? [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/SdT33q9.png ]

[upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/14AcfHS.jpeg]

https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/omicron-variant-memes-61-61ae05844f174__700.jpg

One for the vaccine refusenik conspiracy theorists. [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/vk7NX1j.png] It's true. I removed the antennae from my wheels and some sod came round and let my tyres down.

Reimagining Gender! https://imgur.com/a/jZl98ZU

![Brits take to social media to see the funny side in the face of a new lockdown](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/NINTCHDBPICT000628901657.jpg)

I must be normal, all I can see is an 8. [URL=https://i.imgur.com/v1Bn9Oc.jpg][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/v1Bn9Oc.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

My favourite joke I loved to tell when I was a child……… A snake was warming himself in a nice sunny spot in the woods when another snake came quickly slithering up to him and with a very worrying anxious look on his face said… "Sid! Sid! Quick! What am I, a grass snake or an adder?" "A grass snake, why?" replied Sid sleepily. "Thank Gawd for that. I've just bit me lip!"

I have a friend Pat from Ireland went into the local market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy swine", so he decided to set a test for our emerald hero hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Pat says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Pat says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99". Pat stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go boy," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Pat answers, "Oh b'Jaisus it's so easy look each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat's 99." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Pat so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Pat stares into space again, then he shouts, "Sweet mother of Mary i've got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100." The boss looks at Pat’s attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells him, "Go on, the paddy, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Pat leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?"

@"-Mac"#p1329 Ah…that word filter….but people will figure out that it's turd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=fCNvZqpa-7Q&fbclid=IwAR2_F-MQHws1WFI0hPMKsKt_68qa5vsNpe1yCRySmOmIESbf0wiC5rS2tXk&ab_channel=TimMinchin

Funnies Thread

drdre89

Clown World 🤡 continues

-Mac

May be an image of text that says 'I asked for my coffee dark. But, సನ'

-Mac

May be an image of text that says 'I tried to start my day without Coffee... MY COURT DATE IS CURRENTLY PENDING BONES'

-Mac

May be a cartoon of text that says 'Did you know that Water is the most essential element of life? Yes, because without water, you can't make Coffee. Rcwhit'

-Mac

May be an image of text that says 'By replacing your morning coffee with green tea, you can lose up to 87% of what little joy you still have left in your life.'

dfk41

Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds.
“The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.”
The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. After Mr Singh leaves, the loan officer, the bank’s president and all their colleagues enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a £250,000 Rolls Royce as collateral against a £5,000 loan.
One of the employees drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, Mr Singh returns, repays the £5000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41.
The loan officer says, “Sir, I must tell you, we’re all a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and discovered that you’re a multimillionaire. Why would you bother to borrow £5,000?”
The man replies, “Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41?”

dfk41

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.
Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said, “I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”
The agent replied, “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these folks first; and then I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that
the passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. “May I have your attention, please?”, she began, her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him with his identity, please come to Gate 14”.
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically,
the man glared at the United Airlines agent, gritted his teeth, and said, “F*** You!”
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I’m sorry sir,
you’ll have to get in line for that, too."

dfk41

CafeNoir

dfk41

dfk41 It was Mr J Clarkson, I believe…“cheese eating surrender monkeys?”

CoyoteOldMan

Well… it seems @DavecUK missed the main action at World of Coffee

DavecUK

CoyoteOldMan Thank god!

dfk41

DavecUK I had the pleasure of viewing 40 seconds of it at 3 am…..absolutely cringeworthy!

CoyoteOldMan

The rest of the 2 minutes is pretty funny too, but this one at 0:38 - 0:45 had me laughing out loud.

CafeNoir

CoyoteOldMan I’d already watched this but it’s still funny. I find Mr Hoffman very entertaining and sometimes interesting

Elcarajillo

I find it more like childish stupidity and J H irritating.

CafeNoir

James Hoffman is fine, the idiot attempting to riff off his style, much less so….in fact I couldn’t be bothered watching beyond the realisation that it was 1: not James satirizing himself, 2: not remotely entertaining and 3: lazy

LMSC

Oh dear! That Piggyback was far from funny! 😏

DavecUK

I know we’re expected to celebrate many special days…but I give you the most super special one of all “World UFO day” today Saturday 02 July.

Giphy - aliens abduction GIF

Giphy - GIF by South Park

CoyoteOldMan

DavecUK What am I missing?

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