About time we started one? [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/SdT33q9.png ]

[upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/14AcfHS.jpeg]

https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/omicron-variant-memes-61-61ae05844f174__700.jpg

One for the vaccine refusenik conspiracy theorists. [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/vk7NX1j.png] It's true. I removed the antennae from my wheels and some sod came round and let my tyres down.

Reimagining Gender! https://imgur.com/a/jZl98ZU

![Brits take to social media to see the funny side in the face of a new lockdown](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/NINTCHDBPICT000628901657.jpg)

I must be normal, all I can see is an 8. [URL=https://i.imgur.com/v1Bn9Oc.jpg][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/v1Bn9Oc.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

My favourite joke I loved to tell when I was a child……… A snake was warming himself in a nice sunny spot in the woods when another snake came quickly slithering up to him and with a very worrying anxious look on his face said… "Sid! Sid! Quick! What am I, a grass snake or an adder?" "A grass snake, why?" replied Sid sleepily. "Thank Gawd for that. I've just bit me lip!"

I have a friend Pat from Ireland went into the local market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy swine", so he decided to set a test for our emerald hero hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Pat says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Pat says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99". Pat stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go boy," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Pat answers, "Oh b'Jaisus it's so easy look each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat's 99." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Pat so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Pat stares into space again, then he shouts, "Sweet mother of Mary i've got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100." The boss looks at Pat’s attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells him, "Go on, the paddy, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Pat leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?"

@"-Mac"#p1329 Ah…that word filter….but people will figure out that it's turd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=fCNvZqpa-7Q&fbclid=IwAR2_F-MQHws1WFI0hPMKsKt_68qa5vsNpe1yCRySmOmIESbf0wiC5rS2tXk&ab_channel=TimMinchin

Funnies Thread

PaulL

😮 filth! Yes, impossible to unsee now

Cuprajake

Like a magic eye

Rob666

The only joke I’ve come up with in decades:

“What do you call a cockerel who lays eggs?”

tompoland

Rob666 I’ll bite ,,, what DO you call a cockerel who lays eggs?

Rob666

Himalayer!

MediumRoastSteam

Rob666 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Rob666

MediumRoastSteam 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Sadly. all I can see is square boxes. :)

MediumRoastSteam

Rob666

MediumRoastSteam Thank you! :)

Pompeyexile

My other half said to me the other night…

“Do you want to run upstairs and have sex?”

I replied…

“I can’t do both.”

Elcarajillo

LMSC

Pompeyexile

Amberale

God and the Devil have a telephone hook up each week; this week it’s God’s turn to ring Nick…
G: "Hey Nick, how is it going down there?
D: “Actually God, its going great - we have an engineer down here - he’s installed air conditioning and flush toilets…”
G: “Nick, you know the rules, you are not allowed engineers, send him up here.”
D: “No God, we rather like what he is doing for us.”
G: "Send him up here or I’ll sue.
D: “And tell me God, where would you get a lawyer?”

tompoland

Highlights reel from the 5th day of the fourth ashes test … catch all the action …

tompoland

Browsing portable espresso makers in AliExpress and came across this little gem of Chinglish (see point 4)

dutchy101

Sometimes the headlines write themselves

Cuprajake

There on theirs 6 week hols ATM are they not .

DavecUK

Cuprajake if added up Parliament has about 15.5 weeks recess every year..

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