About time we started one? [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/SdT33q9.png ]

[upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/14AcfHS.jpeg]

https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/omicron-variant-memes-61-61ae05844f174__700.jpg

One for the vaccine refusenik conspiracy theorists. [upl-image-preview url=//i.imgur.com/vk7NX1j.png] It's true. I removed the antennae from my wheels and some sod came round and let my tyres down.

Reimagining Gender! https://imgur.com/a/jZl98ZU

![Brits take to social media to see the funny side in the face of a new lockdown](https://www.thesun.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/NINTCHDBPICT000628901657.jpg)

I must be normal, all I can see is an 8. [URL=https://i.imgur.com/v1Bn9Oc.jpg][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/v1Bn9Oc.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

My favourite joke I loved to tell when I was a child……… A snake was warming himself in a nice sunny spot in the woods when another snake came quickly slithering up to him and with a very worrying anxious look on his face said… "Sid! Sid! Quick! What am I, a grass snake or an adder?" "A grass snake, why?" replied Sid sleepily. "Thank Gawd for that. I've just bit me lip!"

I have a friend Pat from Ireland went into the local market to apply for a job. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy swine", so he decided to set a test for our emerald hero hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument. The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." Pat says, "Dat's easy" and proceeds to draw three trees. The boss says, "What in the world is that?" Pat says, "Tree 'n tree 'n tree makes nine." "Fair enough" says the boss. "Second question, same rules, but represent 99". Pat stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go boy," he says. The boss scratches his head and asks, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" Pat answers, "Oh b'Jaisus it's so easy look each tree is dirty now, so it's dirty tree 'n dirty tree 'n dirty tree - dat's 99." The boss is getting worried he's going to have to hire Pat so he says, "All right, question number 3. Same rules again, but this time represent the number 100." Pat stares into space again, then he shouts, "Sweet mother of Mary i've got it!" He makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Der ya go sir -100." The boss looks at Pat’s attempt and thinks, "Ha! got him this time." He then tells him, "Go on, the paddy, you must be crazy if you think that represents a 100." Pat leans forward and points to the little marks at the tree bases and says, "A little dog comes along and craps near the base of each tree, so now ya got dirty tree an' a turd, dirty tree an' a turd, and dirty tree an' a turd, which makes 100. When do I start me job?"

@"-Mac"#p1329 Ah…that word filter….but people will figure out that it's turd

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=fCNvZqpa-7Q&fbclid=IwAR2_F-MQHws1WFI0hPMKsKt_68qa5vsNpe1yCRySmOmIESbf0wiC5rS2tXk&ab_channel=TimMinchin

Funnies Thread

DavecUK

I know we’re expected to celebrate many special days…but I give you the most super special one of all “World UFO day” today Saturday 02 July.

Giphy - aliens abduction GIF

Giphy - GIF by South Park

CoyoteOldMan

DavecUK What am I missing?

DavecUK

CoyoteOldMan You are missing “World UFO day”, has it not been in the papers, are the BBC not showing Alien, or some sort of space invasion movie.

MediumRoastSteam

CoyoteOldMan DavecUK What am I missing

You are not alone. Maybe Dave’s been abducted, or had an encounter of the third kind? 🤣🤣🤣

CoyoteOldMan

DavecUK I didn’t know… I don’t watch TV, and it’s not on any of the newspapers or newssites I read/follow, so I completely missed the opportunity to celebrate it! 😂🛸

DavecUK

MediumRoastSteam Could be

Giphy - sp20moments GIF

CoyoteOldMan

DavecUK That thing looks like a Cafelat Robot Evo Leva…

DavecUK

A recent event made me laugh at this

Humorous Greeting Card (PL-E915) - Male Birthday - Strange Voices - from the Bottomline Range : Amazon.co.uk: Stationery & Office Supplies

drdre89

Definitely the same person

drdre89

Hillary Clinton’s final words to Ghislaine Maxwell’s bodyguards …

Norvin

It’s funny ’cos it’s true…

DavecUK

Norvin That was really funny, loved it.

CafeNoir

Norvin It’s really funny and mostly because it will ring true for many guys, myself included, lol

dutchy101

DavecUK

CoyoteOldMan

DavecUK 😁 If these were my kids: “That’s what you are going to eat for the next week. Take your pick.”

JahLaza It’s exactly 50 “old” Irish Punt. Plenty of similar oddities in Italy - “No smoking; fine of €10.33”

JahLaza

Picked this thread coz I had to laugh,might be better in the ‘rising prices’ thread or something. But, please tell me - how DO they arrive at these prices??!!

JahLaza

CoyoteOldMan oh yes, I forgot we changed and that everything was rounded upwards!!

JahLaza

CoyoteOldMan Italy - “No smoking; fine of €10.33”

Last time I was in Italy you’d be fined for NOT smoking 😂😂

dutchy101

JahLaza everything was rounded upwards

It’s always rounded upwards, significantly too

CoyoteOldMan

JahLaza Still today… much less, but I’m amazed at the number of young people smoking!

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