Rob1
What you said is true, not just of forums but of life in general. We need to be more mentally resilient (we also need to control our words too…) However it does not address the real issue in this little debacle - which is what sort of forum is this and what sort of forum do members here want it to be? Is it the nice and friendly and knowledgeable forum that it sets out to be - like a gathering at an acquaintance’s house to which we have been invited along with a lot of other people, some we know well and others we don’t know well, and somebody there starts casting slurs at another attendee and suggesting dishonesty on his part and they make a scene. Wouldn’t the host and other attendees there who know the abuser speak to him and tell him he’s out of line and to behave himself, and they also get the victim to calm down as well?
But if all that they do is to just suggest to the abuser that he can rephrase his words on a different way and then they tell the person being accused not to be so sensitive and if he doesn’t like it he can just stop talking to him and ignore him, will the victim not perceive that the attendees appear to be nice and friendly just to the abuser and not to the person being abused?
There is a reason when people get so angry they start posting tweets or Instagram against others. It doesn’t excuse it but there is always a cause. Is there any reason related to how he was treated here apart from the possibility somebody here raised of anyone whispering in his ear and further aggravating him?
Part of calming down a person who feels unfairly treated is to let him see that the slur against him is being publicly rejected there and then. If that is not done, he starts to wonder if the others also feel that way about him too and believe the slur though there is no evidence whatsoever presented to prove it….
If we don’t want it to happen again, it is wise to have a look under the hood when things blow up to see if there is anything that needs fixing before we sweep it under the carpet and go on business as usual…